The best Celebrity Big Brother review you'll read (probably)
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| From left to right: Keith, 4th place, Patsy, 3rd evicted, Alexander, left, Chloe, 1st evicted, Calum, 3rd place, Cami Li, 5th evicted (live bombshell), Katie Hopkins, 2nd place, Kavana, 6th evicted, Nadia, 4th evicted, Perez, 7th evicted, Jeremy, removed, Michelle, 5th place, Alicia, 2nd evicted, Ken, removed. |
Unfortunately, Friday marked the end of one of the most explosive, unpredictable, and entertaining series of CBB I've watched. Not only were there many arguments, and fallouts, there was a clear divide, which, although echoed the Civilian Big brother, made it clear to us who should be our winner.
I'll start by saying how improved the quality of celebrities in this version is, compared to the summer CBB "celebrities". The closest they had in that series was Gary Busey, who himself turned out to be an obnoxious git. This series improved, including a celeb blogger, with over 5 million Twitter followers, a national treasure, an LGBTQ icon, and many more, however with fame, comes desire. Did they really think putting a washed up "star", who was on Baywatch When he was 10 would do well? Did they really think putting on an ex (on the beach) reality star would boost ratings? Did they really think putting a one hit wonder on would make us "feel good"?
This series also brought much controversy, for racist, sexist and homophobic allegations. First to be removed was Jeremy, for "groping" housemate Chloe. To be honest, I don't know where I stand in this, as I don't believe pulling down her dressing gown was exactly a grope. Despite this, he was driven to do this by alcohol, for which he has previously had issues with, so there's no saying he won't do it again, however, in all fairness Chloe completely overreacted throughout the whole situation.
My question, is how on earth did he qualify to even get into CBB? Did producers not check his past record? Anyway, Producers probably thought to play it safe, (double standards) and remove him the following morning. Ken Morley, ex Corrie "star" was also removed, for his sexist and racist comments towards Alexander, and some of the girls in the house. You would have thought he would have learnt his lesson, after receiving a formal warning for saying, whilst in the presence of Chloe, Cami and Patsy "this is the best place to look at women's a**e's", referring to Cami as "half Hindu princess, half s**t", for use of the word "N**ro", and for asking Michelle whether she would "violently f**k" Calum, but no, he continued with his vile language, and was finally kicked out. Why it didn't happen sooner is a wonder (double standards) to me, but I'm glad it did.
Now, Perez Hilton. Before he came into the house, I knew a lot about him, and what he did, I loved his blog, and I actually thought he would be a good housemate,
I
Was
Wrong.
He was the absolute calamity of the house. He was a self absorbed clown, acting like a 2 year old to hog the camera and get as much of the "Perez show" in the one hour timeslot, that was supposed to be for the whole house. How the heck was this man not removed? He dry humped a window for God's sake. He was just as threatening to his housemate as he dubbed everyone else. He's a hypocrite! Despite this, producers did absolutely everything they could to keep him in, even going as low as to give him his own private room, to spy on other housemates.
Really?
They could have at least put Katie Hopkins in there as well, so we could have some WWE action.
Enough about Perez now, this isn't the Perez show.
Onto the "Mums" of the house, Patsy and Nadia. You'll have to remind me to keep calm during this part, I don't think Patsy will cope if I get angry. Patsy was very likeable for me, as she seemed to be the only sane one in the house, and that really "blew me away" (excuse the pun). She really did try to spread peace and love to the house, but it seemed not to work, though it was no surprise, when you're living with Katie Hopkins, Perez and Nadia, who had her head so far up Perez bum, she was probably breathing the same oxygen as him. Nadia was one of the main reasons Perez was how he is. She brought pretty much nothing to the show, and was very much a waste of a pay check.
Next, the prime fencesitters, Keith (Switzerland), Kavana, and Katie Price. If I'm honest, these three brought one quality each only to the house, Kavana his drunken state, Keith his humour, and Katie Price, her fandom. These guys really kept themselves low key, compared to the rest of the house, which was probably the best thing to do, as it ment you avoided nomination, (in most cases) and most definitely eviction, over some of the more outspoken characters, or those who said they "wanted to go". Fair enough, they did have their moments but, I can guarantee I won't even remember Kavana and Keith being in the house.
Now, for Calum and Alexander. Both of these guys had strong opinions, but had the brains to figure out constructive ways to deliver them, rather then just shouting as loud as they can. Alexander was a great housemate for me, for the way he dealt with conflict and argument. I have respect for him, for not loosing his head when Ken referred to him as a "N**ro", but instead he calmly told him not to say it again, as it is out dated. I had only one problem with Alex, which was a little slip up, in which he called Perez a "f****t" Perez wound him up like a Jack-in-a-box, however, after apologising, he decided to leave, upsetting many. As for Calum, really, what did he bring to the house? Looks, I guess, and a fake showmance with Cami, which, let's face it, no one thought was real. Calum should have gone a lot earlier on, as he was just furniture.
Next the "mean girls" as Perez dubbed them, Chloe, Cami Li, and Michelle. I honestly thought these three girls gave great entertainment. Chloe went out far too early, and really wasn't given enough time to give her full potential. She definitely overreacted over Jeremy, but other than that, her witty remarks about Perez entertained me.
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Chloe Goodman dons a dress, with "GET PEREZ OUT!" on it..
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Sass takes human form in Cami Li, easily one of my favourite celebrity housemates ever. She's a bit like Marmite really, you either love her or hate her. Her one liners made CBB for me "Time an' space is for astronauts honey, and I ain't got time fo' that" "b*tch please I ain't got time fo' that" "imma' take you to church" ", and quite obviously "girl bye" which trended on Twitter, the night of the bombshell eviction. I really would have liked to see Cami make it to the final, as CBB got boring after she left, resorting to me actually laughing at Perez and Katie Hopkins. Please forgive me... Cami had only one flaw, her decision making. It wasn't actually the excessive swearing that got to me, it was the way she said things to other housemates. Calling someone who is dyslexic thick is not a smart move, and appointing Perez as your king giving him IMMUNITY from the public vote was ridiculous, but other than that, I loved her friendship with Chloe and Patsy, and was gutted to say "girl bye" to her during the live bombshell, in which, she was dragged by Emma Willis herself, through the magic mirror, clinging onto her for dear life.
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| Cami Li, after being evicted in the live bombshell, walking to the Bit On The Side set, clinging onto Emma Willis. |
Michelle Visage. I had high hopes hopes for Michelle, having known how fierce she is outside of the house, yet, I felt somewhat disappointed. I feel like her judgement was very much impaired, when she made a close friendship with Katie Hopkins, and she seemed somewhat silenced in her opinions when she began to hang around more with Katie Hopkins, which made people dislike her. She came in with a clear goal, to represent the Gay community, which she did with flying colours. Perez tried to call her out for it yelling "you don't represent me" yet, Michelle kept it together, and stayed calm throughout. She also kept her cool when she was asked the inappropriate question of "would you violently f**k Calum?" by Ken, to which she replied "I would f**k the s**t out of Calum if I wasn't married". Not only this, she is my queen, she has an amazing style. In my opinion, she really shouldn't have come 5th over Katie Hopkins, Katie Price and Keith.
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| Michelle Visage on RuPaul's Drag Race. |
We now move on Alicia. I do feel that Alicia was victimised by Katie Hopkins and the mean girls, who picked on her for not being as bright as the rest of them, however, she failed to mention until after that she was dyslexic, which I think was a little pot stir, and also bananagate, to which everyone overreacted.
Just let the girl have some bananas!
By far, the worst pot stir, the biggest game player, and the fakest housemate was Katie Hopkins. She just kept digging at Perez, Nadia and Alicia, waiting for them to explode, and then let her minions (Michelle, Chloe, Cami Li) take the blast for her. She came in as the most hated woman in the country, and then acted like Marge Simpson, putting on the fakest smile when she spoke to her housemates even after her secret mission (yawn, so predictable) was over. She offended many, by saying she doesn't believe in ADHD, resulting in both Cami Li and Michelle claiming they have it. Her reward for all of this is second place!? Really!? I ain't got time fo' this.
Finally, the CBB 2015 winner, Katie Price. I don't really think I've ever been so underwhelmed in my life at a winner of CBB. Still, it doesn't sink to the level of Gary Busey winning last year, but, have they got a new system of making the most famous (in the UK) win the show? I hope the producers kept their receipt for Katie Price, having forked out a 6 figure price (tee hee) for her, to talk about her sex life, moan about her boob, and promise us "I'm only being myself".
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| CBB winner 2015 Katie Price exits the house. |
Overall this series has made us mercifully scream at our TV's, protesting at the producers for their awful decisions and terribly boring twists, yet set our watches every night, counting down the minutes until 9 o'clock. I hope the civilian version is just as good, but for now, we say goodbye to Emma and Rylan, until June!
