B*tch I'm MAD-onna Review

B*tch I'm MAD-onna

Recently, Madonna dropped the music video for her new song, "B*tch I'm Madonna". To describe it in one word, I'd have to go with catastrophe. Complete and utter catastrophe. Catastrophe with a capital C.

Why?

Take a look for yourself:

Come on Madonna. I thought you were better than that.

Let's start off with the meaning behind the song. As you can see, Madonna is shown wearing a leopard print dress throughout the video, along with pink dip dyed hair. As well as this, she also appears to be singing at a slightly higher register than she normally would. She's trying to tell us, that although she is old, (56, although she looks 20) she's still young at heart.

But, to be frank, there's surely about a million better ways of showing this.

At the beginning of the video, I thought the local ballet club had hijacked the video, as all that's seen is 4 little girls, and an incredibly fast set of guitar chords, however the camera then pans, and we see Madonna, exercising (?)

Can we please discuss the 2 girls in a bath, dancing like robots to a dubstep breakdown, with duct tape on their nipples? I don't think that can scream "attention seeking" any louder, do you?

Now, in the middle of the video, Madonna, being as unpredictable as she is, sprung some guest appearances on us, such as Miley Cyrus, Queen Beyonce, Rita Ora, and Katie Perry, as well as a rap by Nicki Minaj, which we all knew was coming, considering the song is "B*tch I'm Madonna FT Nicki Minaj"

Anyway, Nicki, perfected the rap, bringing back her iconic pink hair too.

I had to look down, and make sure my zip hadn't broken at the end of the song, as it seems as if they've used one as an instrument for the last verse, pointless, I know.

Overall, before this video, I actually had some respect for Madonna as an artist, but unfortunately she's gone down the route of attention seeking, rather than actually putting out good quality music/videos.

I see this as very weak competition to Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood" video, which also features many special appearances

Which do you prefer?

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Annoying Things Boys Do

Annoying Things Boys Do

Yeah, yeah, before you accuse me of being sexist, I've already posted "Annoying things girls do".

If you want to check it out, here's the link 

http://pevvyz.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/annoying-things-girls-do-note-i-am.html

Have ridiculous haircuts

Yeah, ok, maybe you have your "own style" but these are NOT ok:

Have a "cheeky Nandos with the lads"

No one actually cares that you're having anything to eat, regardless whether it's "cheeky" or not, especially if your Mum dropped you off and gave you a tenner to spend..

Have a tiny patch of hair underneath their bottom lip

This is not worthy of being called a beard, and has absolutely no aesthetic appeal whatsoever. 

So why have it?

Plus, it would just getting away, if you were to be kissed, which is unlikely if you've got that harvesting on your face...

This tosser's got a double whammy, modelling it perfectly:

Calling someone else "gay" for being a respectable, nice bloke

To be honest, it's just a compliment to the gays, saying they're also nice, respectable people, but seriously, stop using "gay" to describe anything you perceive as being negative.

Pretend it's longer than it is

Around 76% of people say their trouser snake is longer than it really is. What wonders me is how they conducted this experiment.

But anyway, who actually cares? And anyway, I'm pretty sure you're lying when you say you've got a ten incher..

Sticking your hands down your trousers

Yes, I understand that sometimes it gets itself into awkward positions, but just wait until you're alone somewhere, or at least with people that don't mind it before you get stuck in.

Swearing A LOT

Now, this could be applied to all genders, but I see it mainly in males.

Surely you can string a sentence together without that sort of language?

If not, I suggest you get back to primary school, and start learning how to speak properly.


That's all that comes to mind right now, but I'm sure it won't be hard for me to think of more..

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A Few Things We Need To Clear Up

A Few Things We Need To Clear Up

In light of recent news, I thought I'd take the responsibility to clear just a few things up, that have been on my mind recently.

So, I'm not sure whether you've heard of this, but there's this thing called the LGBT+ community*. It's where the sky is full of rainbows, Lady Gaga is played on repeat, and cupcakes and flowers are handed out free. Right now, there's been quite a lot of buzz around LGBT issues.

The first thing I'd like to say, is a huge congratulations to Ireland for legalizing equal marriage! I mean, it's taken you some time, but better late than never, right? Whilst this is a big step, there's still such a long way to go, until full equality.

Caitlyn Jenner formally known as Bruce Jenner, recently debuted on the cover of "Vanity Fair"

How gorgeous is she?

I personally believe it takes A LOT of courage to come out as trans, when you're in the public eye so much. Of course, it's equally as brave to come out if you're just the shop assistant, or the bartender down the road, however, imagine having every single detail of your life documented. Everyone wondering when the next time you're going to go to the shops will be,  or wear a new jacket.

Compare coming out to buying a new jacket.

How much more significant is coming out?

Caitlyn was perceived mostly well by the world, myself included, obviously, however unfortunately, not all were as positive

It's like someone saying "oh, you used to have a cat, but now you have a dog, I'm still going to say you have a cat"

Drake, come on. You work mainly for kids TV, and you are a role model for many, many people. If you really have to think that way, which, you really shouldn't, since we're in the 21st century, keep those thoughts to yourself.

If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

Snoop Dogg also spoke up about the issue, calling Caitlyn a "Science experiment" Sigh.. I won't even bother trying to argue with someone of so fewer brain cells, let alone the capacity to show some understanding, and sympathy to someone who's clearly been through so much, in order to be the woman she is today.

If you want to know more about transition, I'd recommend Kellie Maloney's documentary "No Going Back" it really highlights the struggles physically and emotionally, that a transgender person has to go through.

My last topic of discussion is a soon to be released video game, called "kill the f****ts".

I honestly find it disgusting, that someone would develop a game, in which the aim of the game is to kill LGBT people.

Would it be ok to make a game to kill black people? To kill women?

100% no.

These sick game developers enlisted in many voice actors and actresses, unbeknownst to them the content and nature of the game, one of which was Lori Beth Denberg, 90's "All That" actress who, to be honest, is scraping the bottom of the barrel looking for work these days.

After discovering what the game was about, she immediately cut all ties with the developers, denying any fore knowledge of the game's nature or content.

These have just been a few things I've wanted to discuss, as I feel the LGBT community is sort of put into the shadows a bit, over other issues. LBGT is everywhere, and the more people that talk about it, the more people know!

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*Complete and utter sarcasm. Anyone who has working ears has heard of the LGBT+ community, no?